growth and change

it's finally 5 AM. I've been struggling to sleep ... or not to sleep since about 2:30. Surprise! when you get a group of ministers together in a room it is not always sweetness and light. No that is not true ... up to last night that is all that it has ever been and that is what is just NOT true. Put 'em together, monks, nuns, priests, rabbis, ministers doesn't matter and if they are ready to be honest they'll tell you a story of struggle and pain and of how their life life is an intersection of the two questions .... Who IS this person who is called to this level of compassion? and What is MINE to do?

Last night the question on the table was why dont we grow. well the answer is tied up in how you ask the question and who the "we" is. the Church?, the movement? the teaching (philosophy) the minister? the people?

I came out of a monastic tradition and a community of 120 monks, many of whom, if not all were good, loving and sincere and who have now shrunk down to about 40. I know they are asking why they cant seem to grow. I taught with a religious community of brothers who have not had one person join their congregation and stay since 1964. You can bet they are asking why. And now a group here is asking the same question. Until last night I thought the answer was easy... so easy in fact that I had it. Now, I dont know but I suspect that 36 ministers who sat and asked the question this week will return to Churches that will grow next week ... because they asked the question in the way we did last night. What was so special about last night? I'm not sure I know yet.